porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize