I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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