found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
