Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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