All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize