I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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