how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
