I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
