a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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