Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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