So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
