I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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