Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Panties = found
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
