Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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