so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
