yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
