I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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