Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sober January is a disaster.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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