Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
