Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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