Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
