I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize