4 words: hood of his car
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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