Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
