That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
