i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
