there was a trapeze. enough said
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
