hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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