Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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