Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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