At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
