Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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