I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
