hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
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I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We talked him into tasing himself.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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