We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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