if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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