college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
