I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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