Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
