I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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