just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
