even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
