Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
