Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
