The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
