Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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