Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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