I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
