it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Green mimosas i think yes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
God I need to hump something, right now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize