my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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