You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
