Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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