As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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