What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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